


am i good enough (for you to love me too)

by SesameSeed



Series: Soft Liquorice [6]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, lapslock, like im not even kidding this is ridiculously fluffy, minor cheolsoo, rated for brief language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-10-11 20:30:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20552258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SesameSeed/pseuds/SesameSeed
Summary: "as long as you want me here with you, that's right where i'll be. forever.""forever."





	am i good enough (for you to love me too)

**Author's Note:**

> So! This used to be a twt au but i decided to repost it on here! The formatting is a bit ehhh but the whole reason I decided to repost it was cuz I'm sucker for fluff and this is up there in terms of the fluff I've written!
> 
> You can read this as a prequel to the Soft Liquorice series or as an independent fic! It works both ways so if you haven't read the series don't worry about it!
> 
> The title is from 'Good Enough' by Evanescence btw!
> 
> Enjoy!!

jihoon was restless.

he wasn’t even focusing on the lecture anymore. the only reason he even chose to take the ‘psychology of human relationships’ course was because he needed the extra credit hours, and it just seemed like the option that would least make him want to take a cheese grater to his head.

he really didn’t mind the course. in fact, it was often fascinating. but today, there was far too much going on in his mind. too many tasks, too many responsibilities, too many everything. and so, he was restless.

his legs bouncing slightly, jihoon busied himself with drawing small, random patterns in the corner of his of his notebook, and then colouring them in when he ran out of space. he needed to do _something_ to soothe his burning nerves.

“let’s take, for example, jeonghan and jihoon.”

jihoon’s head snapped up the second he heard his name come from the professor’s mouth. he had _no_ idea what was going on, let alone what he was being used as an example for. his eyes darted around every corner of the room, showing the restlessness he felt as he tried to figure out what on _earth_ was going on.

“imagine jeonghan and jihoon as a married couple…”

jihoon didn’t remember anything said after that. firstly, he hadn’t even realised that the professor knew his name. secondly, and most importantly, jihoon had only seen jeonghan once, and even then only for a second. he never exchanged so much as a single word with him.

praying that no one else in the lecture hall (other than wonwoo) knew who he was, jihoon tried to sneak a glance at jeonghan, who was sitting a few seats down from him. it was an act of impulse, and something jihoon would berate himself the second he did it.

because what he wasn’t expecting was to meet eyes with jeonghan at that very moment.

trying to inconspicuously make himself smaller in his seat, jihoon’s whole face burned with a faint pink colour. a mantra of ‘oh no’s repeated over and over in his head as he came to a horrible realisation.

as it turned out, this jeonghan guy, he was cute. _very cute._

jihoon all but jumped up the second the professor said the word “dismissed”. he couldn’t wait to get back to his dorm, blast some much until was half deaf, work on anything and everything, and forget anything had happened at all.

but as fate would have it, things didn’t go his way.

jeonghan had slowly approached jihoon’s seat until the latter simply couldn’t ignore him anymore.

“hey,” jeonghan started in the softest, most mellifluous voice jihoon had ever heard. “you’re jihoon, right?”

in that moment, jihoon _wished_ he could just melt into a puddle on the ground to escape the conversation.

“yeah,” he replied instead, honestly surprised his voice came out at all.

jeonghan gave him a wide smile, and jihoon felt his cheeks growing even hotter.

“i feel like i know you, have we met before?”

“n-no, i don’t think so,” stammered jihoon, shrugging on his backpack and walking past jeonghan, head held low.

“have a good day.”

jihoon walked straight to his dorm room without stopping or so much as slowing down even once. a part of him felt bad for the way he left jeonghan – after all, he was only trying to be nice. but the bigger part of him was tired, embarrassed, and anxious to make a small dent in his huge pile of work.

and sitting down heavily at his desk, he had every intention of doing that, until he received a text message from seungcheol.

**from: seungcheol**

JIHOON

WONWOO TOLD ME WHAT HAPPENED

I CAN’T BELIEVE IT

**to: seungcheol**

hello to you too

now leave me alone i have work to do

**from: seungcheol**

no let me have my fun

that’s one way to meet someone

**to: seungcheol**

choi seungcheol

stop

**from: seungcheol**

come on ji jeonghan’s a nice guy

well

except to shua but anyway

he won’t think too much of it

**to: seungcheol**

i suppose

**from: seungcheol**

did you guys talk?

**to: seungcheol**

no

**from: seungcheol**

huh

that’s unlike jeonghan

**to: seungcheol**

well…

he tried

**from: seungcheol**

lee jihoon

what have you done?

**to: seungcheol**

NOTHING??

he just asked if we met before

i said no and walked away

**from: seungcheol**

jihoon…

**to: seungcheol**

what?

i told him to have a nice day

**from: seungcheol**

HE WANTED TO TALK TO YOU JI

**to: seungcheol**

seungcheol i was tired

and annoyed

and i’m not taking that class to make friends i’m taking it because i need the hours

now let me work

meanwhile, jeonghan was sitting in a café, textbook in hand as he tried to review what they had covered in one of his lectures. but try as he might, he couldn’t focus. the words refused to connect in his brain even though he had been reading the same paragraph at least five times.

jeonghan knew better than to try and work when his mind simply wasn’t cooperating, so he pulled out his phone, and texted the only person he _knew_ wouldn’t completely brush him off.

**to: shua**

shua

shuaa

SHUAAAAAAAAAAAA

SHUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**from: shua**

WHAT IS IT?

**to: shua**

do you know a guy named jihoon? lee jihoon?

**from: shua**

the one in your psych lecture?

**to: shua**

that’s the one

**from: shua**

the one you think is cute?

**to: shua**

JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION SHUA

please

**from: shua**

well since you said please

i haven’t spoken to him that often but yeah i know him

he’s friends with cheol

why are you asking anyway?

**to: shua**

just wondering

i got his number from wonwoo and i wanted to talk to him

but he isn’t replying to any of my messages :((

**from: shua**

han he’s a busy guy

be patient

**to: shua**

i know

but i’m worried

**from: shua**

why? what happened?

actually

what did you do?

**to: shua**

I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING

HAVE SOME FAITH IN ME PLEASE

you know how that professor likes to use students in scenarios?

for some reason?

she used the two of us and i feel like it bothered him

i wanna make sure he’s okay :((

**from: shua**

he’s probably fine han

probably working actually

just wait. he’ll reply sooner or later

**to: shua**

SIGH

**from: shua**

and stop being dramatic

**to: shua**

shut up you love me

jihoon must have read jeonghan’s messages over and over at least fifty times, thumbs hovering over the keypad, at a complete loss. thousands of questions ran through his mind all at once, it was almost overwhelming.

needless to say, he didn’t know what to do.

**to: seungcheol**

oh no

OH NO

**from: seungcheol**

is this you working?

**to: seungcheol**

HE

HE TEXTED ME

WHY

**from: seungcheol**

consider this

he wants to talk to you

**to: seungcheol**

but WHY?

**from: seungcheol**

ji

i’m not a mind reader you know

**to: seungcheol**

YOU’RE NOT HELPING

PLEASE HELP ME

**from: seungcheol**

wait

oh my god

YOU LIKE HIM DON’T YOU

**to: seungcheol**

NO

**from: seungcheol**

LEE JIHOON

**to: seungcheol**

MAYBE

**from: seungcheol**

I KNEW IT OH MY GOD

**to: seungcheol**

this doesn’t solve my problem

seungcheol what do i do?

**from: seungcheol**

uhh reply??

**to: seungcheol**

i don’t know…

**from: seungcheol**

ji just answer him please

he obviously wants to talk to you

**to: seungcheol**

okay okay

fine

i’ll talk to him

jihoon gulped. every fibre of his being was telling him this was a bad idea, that it would only end badly.

but he opened jeonghan’s messages anyway, and typed out a reply.

**from: unknown number**

hi jihoon!

this is jeonghan i asked wonwoo for your number

how are you doing?

**to: jeonghan**

hi

**from: jeonghan**

jihoon!

**to: jeonghan**

uh sorry for taking so long

**from: jeonghan**

don’t worry about it

i gathered you were busy with something

so anyway

how are you?

**to: jeonghan**

good

this is about psych isn’t it

**from: jeonghan**

well…

yes

it is

**to: jeonghan**

jeonghan i know you’re trying to be nice but can we please not talk about that? please?

**from: jeonghan**

sure

i just wanted to see if you were okay jihoon. nothing more nothing less

**to: jeonghan**

what?

**from: jeonghan**

you just looked a little uncomfortable

i mean you already seemed a little stressed out so

i was worried it bothered you a little too much

**to: jeonghan**

oh

thank you

**from: jeonghan**

you’re welcome jihoonie

you are okay though, right?

**to: jeonghan**

yeah

i’m fine

don’t worry

**from: jeonghan**

okay

so

tell me a little bit about yourself

**to: jeonghan**

what?

**from: jeonghan**

i just

wanna know a little more about you

hopes? dreams? aspirations? tragic backstory?

i just hardly know anything about you

**to: jeonghan**

jeonghan

we need to be better friends before you can unlock my tragic backstory

**from: jeonghan**

fair enough

can you at least tell me your major?

**to: jeonghan**

biology

and you?

**from: jeonghan**

communications

**to: jeonghan**

oh that’s cool

anyway

i should get back to work so

bye jeonghan

**from: jeonghan**

bye jihoonie

take care of yourself

jihoon locked his phone and threw it back on his desk, but he didn’t continue working. instead, he walked over to his small bed, and threw himself onto the covers. a million things were still rushing through his mind, but there was one that was louder than all the rest.

_‘jihoonie.’_

jeonghan had called him ‘jihoonie.’

it was the tiniest thing and it wasn’t like he had been the first person to give him a nickname. but this felt… different. it felt… nice. better than jihoon knew, and far better than he would care to admit.

a few days later, jihoon all but crawled into his psychology lecture. he was _exhausted_. trying to find that ‘balance’ that everyone kept talking about had him up most of the past few nights. his brain was fried to the extent that falling asleep, no matter how tired he was, became an unnecessarily difficult feat.

he wanted to go home, to close up all the curtains, and simply sleep the afternoon away. instead, he was sitting in an uncomfortable chair in a lecture hall that was far too cold for his taste.

to jihoon’s joy, the lecture was uneventful. he focused hard enough to stay alert to any important information, but otherwise, he let his mind wander. despite himself, he couldn’t help thinking about how jeonghan hadn’t approached him before the lecture began. and while jihoon was grateful, he was intrigued.

to jihoon, jeonghan seemed like the typical outgoing person, and thus expected him to start up a conversation and perhaps even nonchalantly sit next to him. but all jeonghan had done was flash him a warm smile and take his usual seat a few desks down from him.

jihoon was relieved, more than words could express, but at the same time, it confused him to no end.

unlike last time – where he had been fueled by embarrassment – when the lecture ended jihoon found it difficult to get out of his seat, despite how uncomfortable he felt in it. the fatigue was catching up to his body, not only his mind. simply pushing away from the desk seemed impossibly difficult.

“everything okay jihoonie?” came a familiar voice from above jihoon. he looked up to find jeonghan giving him a small smile, his eyes drowning in the concern he was trying to hide.

and jihoon’s heart just melted because never, in a million years, did he expect to hear jeonghan say ‘jihoonie’ in that soft voice of his.

“oh,” started jihoon, fingers drumming against the desk nervously. “yeah, i’m fine.”

“you sure?” asked jeonghan, pouting slightly worriedly. “you look tired. did you sleep at all last night?”

“wow, thanks for the compliment,” replied jihoon, laughing slightly, “and the concern.”

jeonghan smiled brightly and widely before placing a gentle hand on jihoon’s shoulder, squeezing ever so lightly as a comforting gesture.

“get some sleep, jihoonie,” he said, his voice getting even softer. “you need it.”

“i’ll try,” replied jihoon, voice growing small.

giving him one last small smile, jeonghan walked out of the lecture hall without another word, leaving jihoon flustered in his seat. he was… confused. yes, confused was the best word to describe his state of thinking. in jihoon’s mind, it didn’t make sense why jeonghan was treating him so tenderly.

in his mind, he didn’t deserve it.

shaking his head as though to rid himself of those thoughts, jihoon stood up from his desk, promptly plugging in his headphones. the world became blurry, his body fatigued from sleep deprivation. perhaps he should follow jeonghan’s advice; the thought of taking a nice long nap actually seemed nice.

jihoon was barely halfway to his dorm when he found wonwoo falling into step with him. he took one of his earbuds out of his ear out of courtesy as the two exchanged the typical greetings and small talk.

“so,” started wonwoo, after a brief silence, “you and jeonghan…”

“have nothing going on between us,” finished jihoon, voice harshening slightly. “he’s just being nice, that’s it.”

“i’ve seen jeonghan ‘just being nice’. this isn’t it jihoon.”

jihoon didn’t respond. he simply clenched his jaw and continued walking, eyes glued to his feet that felt as though they were moving all on their own.

“i see the way you look at him jihoon,” said wonwoo quietly.

“listen i don’t know what you’re talking about so-”

“jihoon,” interrupted wonwoo, tone becoming harder yet his volume remaining quiet. “i know what i saw. because it’s the same way seungcheol looks at joshua.”

jihoon stayed quiet, this time gritting his teeth as well as clenching his jaw, praying he’d reach his dorm soon.

“you like him jihoon, don’t you? and not just in a friendly way.”

despite himself, jihoon found himself nodding.

the two continued walking in silence, the sound – or lack thereof – thick and uncomfortable. jihoon’s teeth were grit so hard he was surprised none of them cracked under the pressure. he was doing everything physically possible to ignore the way his heart felt hammering against his chest.

he was unlocking the door to his dorm when wonwoo spoke up again, making him freeze in his spot.

“you know jihoon, he probably likes you too. contrary to what everyone likes to think, jeonghan doesn’t get this close to people easily. he prefers keeping a polite distance in most cases.”

jihoon chuckled emptily, and a little sadly, not looking up from the doorknob.

“except why would he like someone like me? someone he knows nothing about. it doesn’t make sense.”

wonwoo smiled a small, almost knowing smile.

“you’d be surprised jihoon,” he said so quietly jihoon almost didn’t hear him. 

and with that, wonwoo turned around, walking back to his own dorm room. jihoon watched him go, exhaling heavily as his words echoed around his aching head. returning to the door, jihoon tried his best to force them out. he wanted, no, he needed sleep, and by god he was going to get it one way or another.

when jihoon woke, it was to the sound of pinging. he had forgotten to silence his phone before collapsing onto his bed, and immediately regretted not doing so. languidly, he reached for the ringing device, rolling over onto his back.

**from: seungcheol**

jihoon

JIHOOOOON

i have a question respond please

**to: seungcheol**

you woke me up

i was having a good nap

and you woke me up

**from: seungcheol**

oh

i’m sorry ji :((

**to: seungcheol**

it’s fine whatever

what’s the question?

**from: seungcheol**

when are you going to ask jeonghan out? like on a date?

**to: seungcheol**

WHA

SEUNGCHEOL PLEASE I LITERALLY JUST WOKE UP

**from: seungcheol**

come on ji

there’s a thing called best friend senses

**to: seungcheol**

n-

no there isn’t

**from: seungcheol**

REGARDLESS

i know you like him. a lot. you can deny it to me lee jihoon. don’t even try

**to: seungcheol**

whether i do or don’t it doesn’t matter

he doesn’t like me back. at least not like that

**from: seungcheol**

how are you so sure?

**to: seungcheol**

i just know seungcheol

**from: seungcheol**

ji

just try. please

its jeonghan we’re talking about. he won’t hurt you

**to: seungcheol**

seungcheol you don’t get it

this is serious

**from: seungcheol**

then help me get it ji

i’m your best friend

let me help you

**to: seungcheol**

i’ve never felt like way before

about anyone and it’s just… it’s scary

**from: seungcheol**

why is it scary?

**to: seungcheol**

because what if i listen to you?

what if one day i go crazy and i ask him out and he says no?

what then?

i never want to feel that heartbroken

**from: seungcheol**

but jihoon you’re forgetting something

what if he says yes?

**to: seungcheol**

why would he? if anything he’d just end up hating me

**from: seungcheol**

okay i can guarantee you without a doubt that jeonghan would never hate you

you forget you’re way more likeable that you want to believe

**to: seungcheol**

i don’t know at this point

**from: seungcheol**

what do you want to do jihoon?

fear aside, what do you want?

**to: seungcheol**

i want to spend time with him

i like being in his company

**from: seungcheol**

so just ask him if he’d like to go out for coffee with you. or lunch. or whatever

you don’t have to make it seem like a date

just make time to be with him for more than a few minutes

**to: seungcheol**

okay

i hate to admit it

but you may have a point

**from: seungcheol**

of course i do

so? what do you think you’re gonna do?

**to: seungcheol**

i’ll ask him out. i’ll die in the process but i’ll do it

and if it all goes wrong i can blame it on you

**from: seungcheol**

i’m proud of you ji

you’re gonna have fun don’t worry

and i’m willing to take that risk because then if it goes well i get the credit!

**to: seungcheol**

no

that’s not how this friendship works and you know it

**from: seungcheol**

it was worth a shot

**to: seungcheol**

thank you cheol

really

**from: seungcheol**

don’t mention it ji

no go get yourself a man!

**to: seungcheol**

aaaaaaaand you ruined it

the next day, after his psychology lecture, jihoon quickly and silently rehearsed the words that he had been repeating over and over again all throughout the previous night and all morning. his mouth was running dry and his stomach turned in an unpleasant way. his brain felt full of static, either offering all the thoughts he really didn’t need or offering nothing at all.

he couldn’t screw this up, he couldn’t afford to.

jihoon wanted to just walk up, ask jeonghan to accompany him for an evening cup of coffee, and let that be it. but it wasn’t that easy. even before he started walking closer to jeonghan’s desk, his heart was racing. 

he was scared; or apprehensive, as wonwoo would put it.

unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately), before he was mentally ready enough, jeonghan noticed jihoon walking towards him, and gave him a small smile in greeting.

_‘there’s no turning back now,’_ thought jihoon to himself, the knot in his stomach growing tighter. 

“hey,” he started, his eyes downcast as his hand nervously came to scratch the back of his head.

“hey jihoonie,” jeonghan echoed back, voice soft and comforting as ever.

there was a heavy pause, jeonghan patiently waiting for jihoon to continue. already feeling foolish and awkward, jihoon just took a deep breath, kept his eyes fixed on the floor, and let the words tumble off his tongue.

“i-i was wondering,” he stammered, his heart beating so loud he could barely hear his own voice. his hands, the only parts of his body not tensed tight, were trembling. “would you maybe want to get some coffee with me?”

for a few, long, torturous moments, there was complete quiet. he finally let out the words he had been rehearsing for hours on end, and now the silence settled on his skin like a poison. he became more aware of the tremor in his hands and tensed his body further in an attempt to stop them.

the silence was the cruellest thing jihoon had ever been put through.

“jihoonie?” started jeonghan, voice dropping to a whisper. he gingerly held jihoon’s wrist, thumb lightly running over the soft skin. “look at me please.”

heart dropping to his feet, jihoon tore his eyes from the ground slowly. he tried to keep his heartbeat steady as he looked into jeonghan’s warm eyes, which crinkled as the warm smile on his face widened.

“i’d love to,” answered jeonghan, voice still a whisper as he looked at jihoon more fondly than ever.

“really?” asked jihoon before he could stop himself, eyes widening.

jeonghan chuckled, his shoulders jumping cheerfully as he ruffled jihoon’s hair.

“of course jihoonie! it’ll be fun!”

“o-okay,” said jihoon, lips stretching into a smile. “what time are you free?”

jeonghan looked off over jihoon’s left shoulder, humming deep in thought.

“how about this: we head back to our dorms to drop everything off, and we meet in the courtyard in front of the arts college. that sound good?”

“perfect,” smiled jihoon.

it was a smile that would stay plastered on his face as he walked to his dorm, made sure he looked decent enough, and made his way to where jeonghan had suggested they meet. he was nervous, who wouldn’t be, but after the tension dissipated, he couldn’t help but smile with pure happiness.

right after the date, after jeonghan made sure he arrived home safe and sound, jihoon dug out his phone, a flush still fresh on his cheeks. to no surprise, he found that seungcheol had already texted him only a few minutes ago.

**from: seungcheol**

so…

how’d the date go?

**to: seungcheol**

oh my god it was so awkward

i had to rely on the icebreakers we learned during freshman orientation so we weren’t just sitting in silence the whole time

**from: seungcheol**

did you just get back?

**to: seungcheol**

yes

we left after our lecture

**from: seungcheol**

so it couldn’t have been that bad

i doubt you could rely on icebreakers for that long

**to: seungcheol**

i guess

still feel like i screwed it all up though

**from: seungcheol**

come on ji

i highly doubt that too

**to: seungcheol**

jeonghan was nice though

**from: seungcheol**

oh?

**to: seungcheol**

SHUT UP

YOU KEEP SAYING HE’S A NICE GUY WHY IS IT SUCH A BIG DEAL WHEN I SAY IT?

**from: seungcheol**

I’M JUST TEASING JI DON’T WORRY

**to: seungcheol**

he _was_ nice though

i like him a lot cheol what do i do?

**from: seungcheol**

what do you mean what do you do?

ji

this is a good thing

you know that right?

**to: seungcheol**

im not so sure

**from: seungcheol**

what do you mean?

ji

are you okay?

where’d you go?

you’re scaring me now jihoon please talk to me

meanwhile, jeonghan had arrived home himself and felt as though he were lighter than air as he relayed the events of the evening to joshua, his eyes sparkling and a smile resting on his lips.

**to: shua**

oh my god shua

he’s so cute

like next level too good for this world kind of cute

**from: shua**

so the date went well i take it?

**to: shua**

it went amazing

**from: shua**

that’s good to hear!

**to: shua**

i really like him shua

like at first i just wanted to make sure he was okay and maybe be friends with him

but then

i dunno

**from: shua**

you caught feelings

**to: shua**

pretty much

he doesn’t expect anything

when i payed for his coffee he looked legitimately surprised

like, unusually surprised

it’s like he just settles for good or okay but he deserves so much better

**from: shua**

han

i don’t know if you realise this but to me it sounds like you love him

and not just ‘oh i have butterflies from the first date i’m in love’ kind of love

on a way deeper level

**to: shua**

do you think i’m getting too invested too fast?

i mean we’ve barely talked before this one date

**from: shua**

maybe

but you also have amazing intuition so who knows?

you’ll just have to wait and see

**to: shua**

you’re probably right

it was joshua’s turn to give a flushed smile at the screen when he saw he received a message from seungcheol. the two weren’t officially dating yet, but it was clear to anyone who looked hard enough that it was just a matter of time.

but the smile quickly slid off his face once he realised what was going on.

**from: cheollie**

hey joshua

i’m sorry i know it’s late

**to: cheollie**

hey cheol!

don’t worry about it i’m still up

**from: cheollie**

okay good

do you know if jeonghan’s still up?

**to: cheollie**

yeah i was just talking to him

why?

**from: cheollie**

i think something’s wrong with jihoon

we were talking and suddenly he seemed really upset and now he’s not responding to any of my messages

you know how hard he can be on himself shua

i’m worried

i’m scared actually

**to: cheollie**

it’s okay cheol

i’ll tell han to check in with jihoon okay?

he’ll get through to him somehow

**from: cheollie**

okay

thank you shua thank you so much

**to: cheollie**

it’s no problem cheollie

get some rest

it’s late

it’ll be okay

joshua bit his lip hard, brow furrowed as he went back to texting jeonghan.

seungcheol was right: joshua did know how hard jihoon could be on himself. it led to him completely shutting everyone out for weeks on end, burying himself in work and not even thinking about food or water or sleep.

it was bad, really bad, and joshua didn’t want to see jihoon in that state again.

**to: jeonghannie**

han

do you know how jihoon felt about the date?

**from: jeonghannie**

no i was about to text him

**to: jeonghannie**

please do that now han

**from: jeonghannie**

why?

what’s going on?

**to: jeonghannie**

seungcheol messaged me

jihoon closed up on him

he’s worried about him and honestly so am i

please han i don’t think he’ll respond to anyone except you

**from: jeonghannie**

oh no

oh shit

do you know if jihoonie’s okay?

**to: jeonghannie**

i don’t han

cheol doesn’t really know either

**from: jeonghannie**

fuck

**to: jeonghannie**

please just text him

jeonghan’s heart was hammering in his chest and by the time he started typing out a message to jihoon, he could barely control the shake of his hands. it took all his self control to be calm, to not send jihoon a message that would do nothing but freak him out.

**to: hoonie**

jihoonieeee

why are you still up?

i told you to sleep cuz we got back so late!

**from: hoonie**

oh hey

i’ve got a lot on my mind

that’s all

don’t worry

**to: hoonie**

are you okay jihoonie?

**from: hoonie**

yeah

**to: hoonie**

you sure?

**from: hoonie**

yeah

actually no

i don’t know im sorry

i didn’t mean to ruin the date

or be a burden i just

nevermind

sorry i’ll be fine

i’ll be better

**to: hoonie**

jihoonie

baby

please tell me what’s wrong

**from: hoonie**

i wanna tell you something

i’m just not sure how to say it

**to: hoonie**

jihoonie you’re scaring me a little

what’s going on?

**from: hoonie**

jeonghan

i like you

a lot

too much

and that scares me

**to: hoonie**

jihoonie

i like you too

a lot

i like you the way you are

**from: hoonie**

but what if the way i am isn’t enough?

**to: hoonie**

how couldn’t it be?

**from: hoonie**

nothing forget i said anything

**to: hoonie**

please jihoonie

i’m not about to leave you until i’m sure you’re okay so please talk to me

**from: hoonie**

i’m not good enough for this

i’m not good enough for you

not nearly enough

not in a million years

**to: hoonie**

don’t talk like that

yes you are

**from: hoonie**

no i’m not!

don’t lie to me jeonghan i’m so sick of people lying to me

i know i’m not good enough for you cuz i’m cold and not good with people and i’m so pathetic i couldn’t even answer your messages the first time without panicking to seungcheol first

and i don’t want people to try and make me feel better by trying to change my mind because i know it’s trye

**to: hoonie**

if you really think i’m going to let you beat yourself up over things that couldn’t be further from the truth i’m afraid you’re wrong jihoon

**from: hoonie**

see

you just proved me right

i’m a pathetic crybaby see?

all i seem to do is lay my problems on people and you just proved that

**to: hoonie**

lee jihoon

do you really think i’m someone who’d lie to you?

**from: hoonie**

i don’t know

**to: hoonie**

have i ever lied to you before?

**from: hoonie**

no

i don’t think so

**to: hoonie**

then listen to me, okay? just hear me out

**from: hoonie**

okay

**to: hoonie**

you’re not a crybaby

you’re not pathetic

you’re not worthless, unloveable, a liability, a burdern, problematic…

you’re not any of those things

and nothing you say or do could ever convince me that you are

**from: hoonie**

i don’t know

i just don’t fucking know anything anymore

**to: hoonie**

look

i know you’re struggling

and that’s okay so don’t beat yourself up over it

you don’t have to be ashamed of what you’re feeling

and you don’t have to justify it either

**from: hoonie**

it’s just

you’re taking the time to help me even though it’s so late and i’m just making things difficult

**to: hoonie**

it’s okay hoonie

everything’s okay

you don’t have to explain anything that’s not why i messaged you

i just wanna make sure you go to sleep okay

**from: hoonie**

i’m sorry for lashing out a little

you didn’t do anything wrong it just came out

**to: hoonie**

it’s okay jihoonie i get it

you’re going to be fine okay?

and anytime things aren’t fine and you need someone to talk to i’m always here

**from: hoonie**

thank you

**to: hoonie**

you’re welcome hoonie

how are you feeling now?

**from: hoonie**

mostly tired to be honest

**to: hoonie**

get some water then sleep okay?

sleep a lot

you need the rest

**from: hoonie**

i will

goodnight jeonghannie

**to: hoonie**

goodnight jihoonie

by the time he was reassured that jihoon was just a little bit better, jeonghan already had an idea brewing; an idea to show jihoon just how much he was worth. it would take lots of planning, but that was okay.

he would do it for jihoon.

jihoon woke up just past noon, which surprised him. he was typically an early riser, whether he liked it or not. the sunlight was always just a little too strong in his room during midday, and so he awoke to a face full of sunlight. he rolled over, basking in how warm his covers felt. hearing a muffled thud, he rolled his eyes at himself.

he’d knocked his phone off the bed, _again_.

stretching down to pick it up, he read through the notifications he’d missed. there were a few from various apps and a message from seungcheol. he felt bad for ignoring him last night, so he was quick to respond.

**from: seungcheol**

morning jihoon

how are things?

**to: seungcheol**

hey

i’m fine

sorry for not answering

**from: seungcheol**

nah i get it

it’s okay

**to: seungcheol**

how are you?

**from: seungcheol**

good

i actually have a proposition for you

**to: seungcheol**

that doesn’t sound promising

**from: seungcheol**

come ON

hear me out? at least?

**to: seungcheol**

proceed

**from: seungcheol**

SO

you know how there’s that hiking trail near that one (bad) restaurant?

**to: seungcheol**

i think it’s more like a really small snack shack but yeah

**from: seungcheol**

do you wanna go up there today?

i think it’d be fun

and a way to get you out of your dorm cuz i know youre planning to spend all weekend there

**to: seungcheol**

why though

because you know i’m sure as hell not hiking that trail

**from: seungcheol**

it’s a surprise ;)

**to: seungcheol**

you’re planning something aren’t you?

something completely and utterly ridiculous

**from: seungcheol**

my lips are sealed

you’ll have fun though i’m pretty sure of that

**to: seungcheol**

choi seungcheol

you’re probably planning something completely nonsensical

and you want me to come with?

**from: seungcheol**

yes

will you?

**to: seungcheol**

obviously

what time should i get there?

**from: seungcheol**

10 to 6?

**to: seungcheol**

oddly specific

okay

see you then

**from: seungcheol**

see you ji ;)

_‘he’s definitely up to something… weirdo,’_ thought jihoon, rolling his eyes as he peeled himself off the mattress.

it was a cold day, the winds biting and fierce. jihoon regretted not bringing a jacket with him. he had decided to walk to the trail. it wasn’t too far from his dorm and he just didn’t feel like taking an uber or taxi. so, he simply grit his teeth and endured the cold. he could probably convince seungcheol to give him his jacket anyway, the man didn’t get nearly as cold as jihoon did.

jihoon reached the snack shack and looked around for seungcheol, slightly annoyed that he wasn’t there yet. he walked to the other side of the shack, already pulling his phone out to text-yell all seungcheol.

instead, he almost dropped his phone as he suddenly stopped dead in his tracks.

seungcheol wasn’t there, but jeonghan was.

jihoon almost smacked himself for not realizing it sooner.

paralyzed, he watched jeonghan’s face break into a smile when he saw him. jeonghan walked over to him, smile only getting brighter the closer he got.

“hi jihoonie!!” he exclaimed, excitement and joy crystal clear in his voice.

“you planned this with seungcheol,” said jihoon.

what he wanted to say was hello back, but his tongue got the better of him.

jeonghan giggled and brought his hand abashedly to the back of his head.

“i know i shouldn’t have tricked you, but i wanted to plan a surprise for you.”

“but… why?”

jeonghan put a hand on jihoon’s shoulder so close to his neck it almost made jihoon shiver.

“i know you weren’t too happy with our date yesterday, so i wanted to make you feel better.”

jihoon opened his mouth to say something, but jeonghan looked at his watch, and his face suddenly tensed.

“it’s six already!” cried jeonghan, turning back to jihoon to hold both his shoulders. “jihoonie do you trust me?”

“uh, yes,” replied jihoon, confused more than words could describe.

“we’re going to walk somewhere but i need you to close your eyes. i’ll make sure you don’t get hurt. is that okay?”

jihoon simply stared blankly at jeonghan for a few seconds confusion and disbelief clouding his mind and slowing his reaction. but his gut told him to just go along with it, and so that’s what he did – he nodded and closed his eyes tight.

jihoon resisted the urge to tense up when he felt jeonghan pull him forward by the hand, and then put his arm around him. they had never been this physically close, and it was making jihoon’s heart and stomach do flips. slowly and timidly, jihoon snaked his own arm around to splay his palm on jeonghan’s back.

he told himself it was to help balance himself better, but jihoon knew that it was mostly because it felt good.

jihoon felt so warm nestled into jeonghan’s side. it was a tingly warmth, the kind fairy tales always described when a faerie was near. the cold wind no longer attacked him so viciously, and he just felt safe.

even though his eyes were screwed shut, he felt safe.

jeonghan let go of jihoon, sliding his fingers across his shoulder blades as he stepped back. jihoon had to resist the urge to open his eyes, even when he heard jeonghan let out a small sigh.

“we arrived just in time,” said jeonghan, his voice small but the smile in it obvious.

“can i open my eyes now?” asked jihoon tentatively.

he felt jeonghan’s arms cage him in, his chest brushing against his back. jihoon’s heart raced in anticipation, and he resisted every nerve in his body telling him to snap his eyes open.

“go ahead jihoonie,” whispered jeonghan.

jihoon opened his eyes, and his breath caught in his throat. his eyes widened as he took in the view around him.

they stood in a small, secluded clearing, one that overlooked a pretty pond. surrounding them grew huge, healthy, vibrant trees and flowers in the most beautiful reds and pinks and whites.

but what truly struck jihoon was the sunset. he understood why jeonghan had been so worried about the time. the sun was a bright tangerine color, mixing with the magenta sky like they were fine paints. the clouds looked like cotton candy, as though the touch of the sun made them blush.

in just a few moments, the biggest star would set, giving way to a thousand others.

jeonghan was right behind him, his hands on the railing just in front of him. a smile crossed jihoon’s face as he realized he was watching one star depart, but the warmest star in his life wasn’t going anywhere.

“where are we?” asked jihoon after the sun had finally disappeared under the horizon line, his voice so quiet that were jeonghan not so close he wouldn’t have heard it.

“well i’m hoping somewhere on earth,” laughed jeonghan, resting his chin on the top of jihoon’s head.

“yeah… i’m not so sure of that anymore.”

jeonghan laughed, and it sounded to jihoon like the most beautiful of wind chimes.

“it’s beautiful isn’t it?” started jeonghan. “i saw the sunset here once years ago. i thought you’d like it.”

“it’s… breathtaking,” replied jihoon.

they remained in a comfortable silence, watching the final few bits of sunlight disappear from the sky to be replaced by bright moonlight. after a little while, jihoon unconsciously wrapped his arms around himself, the cold of the night fiercer than that of the evening.

“are you cold jihoonie?” asked jeonghan. “do you want to borrow my jacket?”

jihoon looked up at jeonghan, his face even softer under the moonlight.

“i’m not cold,” he said, shaking his head.

“so you’re just shivering for no reason then?” teased jeonghan, already sliding his jacket off his shoulders.

jihoon had completely turned around to face jeonghan, ready to argue, but was silenced as the elder wrapped the jacket around him, going as far as to zip it up too.

“what about you?” asked jihoon. his voice shook as he suddenly realized how close they really were.

“i’ll be okay, don’t worry,” insisted jeonghan. the smile on his face was small, but the smile in his eyes made up for it. for a moment, jeonghan looked up at the stars and then back at jihoon. his smile grew larger, his eyes crinkling further.

“you know something jihoonie?” whispered jeonghan, putting an impossibly warm, soft hand on jihoon’s frigid, blushing cheek. “you have stars in your eyes. and they’re beautiful.”

jihoon’s breath caught in his throat. between jeonghan standing so close to him, his hand on his cheek, and the words he had just uttered, jihoon had been rendered speechless. his mouth opened and closed as he tried to think of something to say, but to no avail.

jeonghan didn’t appear to mind, his hands finding jihoon’s and intertwining their fingers together. he stepped a little closer and looked so deeply into jihoon’s eyes it was as though he was looking straight into his soul.

“i love you jihoon,” said jeonghan. in the stillness of the night, it sounded like a shout even though it was barely a whisper.

jihoon’s heart skipped a beat. his mind just couldn’t process those words.

“jeonghan… don’t be foolish…” he murmured, his eyes moving to the ground.

“it’s not foolish jihoonie. i love you. you’re the most hardworking, honest, humble person i’ve ever met. you’re every type of beautiful that there is. you make me so happy jihoonie – it’s strange because even though we only met recently, i can’t imagine my life without you. i love you.”

jihoon gnawed on his lip, biting back a smile. his heart was pounding, both from pure joy and paralyzing apprehension. though his voice was shaking, and his gaze was lowered, jihoon decided to say what he had been meaning to say for a long, long time.

“i love you too.”

jeonghan lifted jihoon’s chin, locking their eyes together. with a small, timid smile, jeonghan leaned in, closing the distance between them.

jihoon felt as though he were floating. he lightly ran his hand up jeonghan’s neck, resting it just behind his ear. the kiss only lasted a few seconds, but to jihoon, it felt like an eternity. by the time they broke apart, they were smiling from ear to ear.

“i love you jihoonie,” repeated jeonghan, pressing his forehead to jihoon’s.

“i-i love you t-too,” replied jihoon, trembling slightly.

and it wasn’t from the cold.

jeonghan furrowed his brow in concern, holding onto jihoon’s shoulders.

“are you okay baby?”

“no, no, no, i’m fine! totally fine!” exclaimed jihoon.

“are you sure? because you’re repeating your words, you’re a little pale, and you just look like you might topple over at any moment.”

“yeah, you might wanna catch me,” giggled jihoon.

jeonghan smiled and wrapped his arms tight around jihoon, who’s small laughs were muffled by the material of jeonghan’s shirt. after jeonghan kissed the top of jihoon’s head, the younger turned back around to look at the pond, intertwining his fingers with jeonghan’s.

he was so happy. happy, secure, and content.

it had been only half an hour, but the dark fell quickly and was growing thicker with each passing minute. jeonghan bent down, kissing jihoon’s temple before resting his chin on his shoulder.

“we should go back jihoonie,” cooed jeonghan, rocking the both of them gently from side to side. “it’s getting really dark.”

jihoon gave a small pout, tensing timidly again. jeonghan held him closer, massaging the tension from the younger’s arms.

“what’s wrong?” he asked, his voice soft and sweet.

“do you think we could stay… you know, just for a little while? i don’t wanna be alone yet.”

smiling understandingly, jeonghan tilted jihoon’s head to give him a quick but fond peck on the lips.

“i won’t leave you, baby. i’ll walk you to your dorm”

“could you stay the night?”

“if you want me to.”

jihoon smiled, resting his head against jeonghan’s shoulder.

“please.”

jeonghan wrapped his arms around jihoon, a hand coming to play with the younger’s soft hair.

“i’ll stay as long as you want my love. let’s go home jihoonie.”

the two walked home, fingers intertwined the whole way. they didn’t say much to each other, but they didn’t need to. their connected hands spoke volumes their words could never.

it was when they had entered the dorm that jihoon checked his messages.

**from: seungcheol**

firstly, don’t kill me

secondly, i hope you had fun ji ;)

he smiled widely and turned to jeonghan, a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

“one of these days i’m gonna get you and seungcheol back for this,” he said with a grin.

jeonghan giggled. “forget about me what did i do?!”

“fine you help me get seungcheol back.”

“how about we set him up on a date with shua?” suggested jeonghan mischievously. “see how he likes it.”

“he’d turn red as a beet and then turn into an absolute shy mess. i love this plan.”

“perfect! plan for tomorrow!” laughed jeonghan, moving to put an arm around jihoon’s shoulders. “now, we sleep.”

jeonghan ran to find jihoon’s bed, dragging a laughing jihoon along with him. jihoon didn’t even bother to change, he just flopped down on the bed, curling up comfortably. he felt the warm covers hugging him, and lazily opened his eyes to see jeonghan tenderly tucking him in. when the two locked eyes, jeonghan kissed jihoon thrice: once on the forehead, once on the cheek, and once on his lips.

“sleep well my darling,” he whispered, softly stroking jihoon’s cheek.

“c’mere hannie,” slurred jihoon sleepily, patting the small but cozy space beside him. “sleep here.”

jeonghan smiled warmly as he walked to the other side of the bed, crawling quietly underneath the covers. he tried to be as quiet and still as possible; jihoon was drifting off and he didn’t want to startle him awake.

“hannie are you still there?” asked jihoon after a few minutes, surprising jeonghan.

“yeah baby. i’m right here.”

“okay, just checking.”

jeonghan shuffled closer to jihoon, pressing his chest to his back and wrapping an arm across his torso. he felt jihoon melt against him, every muscle in his body relaxing completely.

“i’m always gonna be here jihoonie,” whispered jeonghan into jihoon’s hair. “as long as you want me here with you, that’s right where i’ll be. forever.”

“forever,” echoed jihoon quietly, halfway asleep with a small smile on his face.

it was the first time either of them had ever slept so calmly, deeply, and peacefully. and as time would tell, it would hardly be the last. they’d graduate from university, get jobs, make new friends, but no matter how different each day was, they’d always end it in each other’s arms.

warm, safe, and content.

**Author's Note:**

> I really do hope you enjoyed this fic and that the formatting weirdness wasn't too bad!  
Kudos and comments always make me super happy so please let me know what you think! [♡](https://twitter.com/ghiblisbox)


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